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Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

relationship

All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or have struggled before to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness

staying in love

For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It’s staying in love—or preserving that “falling in love” experience—that requires commitment and work. Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort. A healthy, secure romantic relationship can serve as an ongoing source of support and happiness in your life, through good times and bad, strengthening all aspects of your wellbeing. By taking steps now to preserve or rekindle your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime.

Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort. 

The following tips can help you to preserve that falling in love experience and keep your romantic relationship healthy

Tip 1: Face to face

You fall in love looking at and listening to each other. If you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, you can sustain the falling in love experience over the long term. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything seemed new and exciting, and you likely spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, the demands of work, family, other obligations, and the need we all have for time to ourselves can make it harder to find time together.

Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn’t positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication. Sending a text or a voice message to your partner saying “I love you” is great, but if you rarely look at them or have the time to sit down together, they’ll still feel you don’t understand or appreciate them. And you’ll become more distanced or disconnected as a couple

connected through communication

Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner, you feel safe and happy. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out the disconnect. It may sound simplistic, but as long as you are communicating, you can usually work through whatever problems you’re facing.

Tell your partner what you need, don’t make them guess.

It’s not always easy to talk about what you need. For one, many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about what’s really important to us in a relationship. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. But look at it from your partner’s point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden.

Tip 2: touch physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. And the benefits don’t end in childhood. Affectionate contact boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment.

While sex is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn’t be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.

[Read: Better Sex as You Age]

Of course, it’s important to be sensitive to what your partner likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat—exactly what you don’t want. As with so many other aspects of a healthy relationship, this can come down to how well you communicate your needs and intentions with your partner.

Even if you have pressing workloads or young children to worry about, you can help to keep physical intimacy alive by carving out some regular couple time, whether that’s in the form of a date night or simply an hour at the end of the day when you can sit and talk or hold hands.

Tip 3: Be ready for ups and downs

It’s important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, likejob loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children.

Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstandings can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.

Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at them. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other healthier ways to manage your stress, anger, and frustration.

Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in their own way. Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.

Look back to the early stages of your relationship. Share the moments that brought the two of you together, examine the point at which you began to drift apart, and resolve how you can work together to rekindle that falling in love experience.

Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.

If you need outside help for your relationship, reach out together. Sometimes problems in a relationship can seem too complex or overwhelming for you to handle as a couple. 

Kyan Rikkos
Jos, Plateau 930001
Nigeria

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Best5 Dating Rules You Should Probably Try To Follow

“Keep in mind that sometimes the rules that are most crucial for you to follow through on might be the ones that are the least fun to keep…”

Now, if you’re struggling to figure out your own dating rules, I might be able to help you out. I coach a lot of women (and men!) on how to cultivate a healthy dating life, because unfortunately, you can’t depend on Cupid to make all the magic happen (if only it were that simple…). These are my top 11 dating rules to consider in this wild world of modern romance. Choose the rules that work for you, ditch the ones that don’t, and of course, experiment as needed to find your own. There’s no right or wrong here.

1. Date multiple people at once.

Yes, you heard me! Before you enter an agreed-upon monogamous relationship, do yourself a favor and play the field. Because here’s what’s most likely to happen if you don’t: You meet someone you really like, you go out with them again, things escalate, and then—bam—they either pull away, ghost, or tell you they’re not looking for something serious. Now you’re crushed because you’re emotionally invested in them—but they haven’t invested at all in you. When you’re even the slightest attached to a person, the disappointment stings. Spare yourself the hurt by putting a metaphorical egg in several baskets.

We loves to be alone

2. Keep dates short.

I like to tell my clients not to let dates go on for more than 90 minutes. Why? That’s enough time to get to know the person on a surface level and (hopefully) feel a spark, but not long enough that your brain starts getting carried away with the excitement of the potential. Dinner dates that spontaneously turn into a five-hour bar crawl or movie night can be incredibly fun, but they can also leave you in a state of confusion and despair if nothing develops from the marathon outing afterward.

3.Avoid talking about exes on early dates.

An oldie but a goodie dating rule, for a reason: Talking about past relationships and breakups gets heavy fast, and the first few dates should be light and easy. Sure, finding out how someone’s last few major relationships ended—and opening up about how yours did, too—is a great way to learn about the person and connect on a deeper level. But there’s plenty of time for that later, so hold off for the first handful of dates.

If they bring up the ex convo, divert it with something like: “I’d be happy to tell you about that stuff when we get to know each other a little better, but for now I’m really enjoying hearing about XYZ.”

Love is key

4. Don’t feel obligated to send a thank-you text.

Oh man, the thank-you text. Is there any text more debated and controversial than the one that directly follows the first date? I know some people think the woman absolutely should send one shortly after the end of the first date to let the other person know that she’s interested, and then others think it should always fall on the guy (assuming you’re pursuing a male prospect).

“As long as you thanked your date warmly and sincerely in person before parting ways, I believe there’s no reason to send a follow-up text.”

I’m sort of old-school when it comes to pursuit dynamics, which evolutionarily speaking, tend to be led by the male. As long as you thanked your date warmly and sincerely in person before parting ways (which, btw, you absolutely should do whether you’re into seeing them again or not), I believe there’s no reason to send a follow-up text. Doing so can put them in a position where they feel obligated to respond in a certain way and removes any healthy tension on their part of wondering, Oh, she said she had a good time; I think she likes me, but I’ll have to feel her out in a few days. That’s a great place to leave them.

That said, if you worry that you were a little standoffish or far from flirty on the date (I get it…nerves!), you can reassure them that you enjoyed yourself via text. Don’t overthink this. It’s not a job interview—if you know you showed your enthusiasm in person, the ball is in their court. Let them throw it.

5. Wait at least a few dates to have sex.

I’m not anti- first-date sex, but I’m also not necessarily for it. As a therapist, I know that it’s it’s very, very important to truly know not only someone’s intentions but also whether their actions align with them, and that’s hard to figure out upon first meeting them.One-thousand percent, to each their own, especially on this topic—but in my professional opinion, a dating rule that can really come in handy for sparing your precious heart is avoiding sexual intimacy until you know you’re both looking for the same thing. If that’s just a sexual connection, great! But if it’s something more, like an actual relationship, you want to make sure that that’s their goal, too. Because having sex only makes you feel even more attached to a person…and can sometimes make you feel down on yourself if they don’t end up committing to you. No one needs to feel that.

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Best pictures of braided hairstyles black girls 👧!!!

The Africa 🇿🇦 beauty 💇 is classified as the best natural beauty from the creator

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Nicki minaj and her husband best pictures

The famous rapper Nicki took the challenge of marriage and handle it very well!!!!!

Never forget to love someone do it best and someone will love you

Wizkid also in love

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Things to do when you start dating!

4 things to do on first date

If real life was a rom-com, your relationship would go something like this: the ultimate meet-cute would have you locking eyes and knowing in your soul that they’re The One from the first “hello.” Cut to a montage of baking together (with spilled flour all over the kitchen, obviously), sunset strolls holding hands, and maybe a tandem bicycle ride or two. To no one’s surprise, relationships tend to develop a little less cinematically in real life. The beginning of relationships are tough to navigate, but can also make or break the longevity of your romance. Realone.data.blog


1. Focus on the present, not the past

It’s natural to bring your fears and negative experiences to a new relationship; after all, it’s a survival mechanism to prevent getting your heart broken again. But even if old fears and insecurities may prevent heartbreak, they can also prevent you from truly being happy in a new relationship. For example, if a past partner was unfaithful, don’t distrust your new partner just because of what an ex-relationship was like. Focus on the qualities that make your new partner different. If they’re trustworthy enough to date, that means you should trust them.  

Likewise, while the “dating history” conversation will be an important one eventually, don’t rush into it. Spend the first few dates getting to know your partner’s likes, dislikes, dreams, and personality traits, while they’re getting to know yours. There’s no need to explain what went wrong in your last relationship on the first date or find out about their dating past before you know the names of their siblings and where they grew up. 

More love
Best time

2. Talk about the future early on

While you shouldn’t focus on the past, you should focus on the future, at least somewhat. Of course, you don’t need to (and probably shouldn’t) ask how many kids they want before the salad course arrives on date #1, but you don’t want to wait until after one year of dating to find out that they never want to get married if marriage is a non-negotiable for you. It’s not always fun to talk about things like life goals, religion, marriage, politics, etc., but naturally work your deal-breakers into the conversation to make sure you’re at least on the same page, as soon as you start to see a future together. Also, whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship or are looking for more of a casual fling, tell them.

Real

3. Make sure you’re attracted to the person, not the idea of a relationship

Sometimes we want to be in a relationship so badly (dating isexhausting) that we don’t even realize we’re more attracted to the idea of a relationship than the person we’re in a relationship with. If you’re so focused on finding Happily Ever After, you run the risk of pushing other people into boxes that they don’t belong in (or don’t want to be in). You overlook flaws or red flags because your mind has already convinced yourself that this must work. Instead, take your partner at face value. Assume they’re not The One. Would they still be someone you want to spend your time with? If you enjoy their company so much that you’d want to be with them whether or not they were “The One,” then you’re likely attracted to them, not just a relationship. 

4. Don’t skip the sex talk! 

This should go without saying, but if you’re not comfortable talking to your partner about sexual health (including STD testing, history, etc.), then you’re not ready to be intimate (or maybe they’re not someone you should be intimate with). Discuss your likes, dislikes, and what you are (and are not) comfortable with, while listening to theirs without judgment. Oh, and don’t forget that the “right time” to be intimate is different for every couple (screw the “three date rule” or any other bullsh*t guidelines), and remember that just one partner feeling ready is not enough.

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Black couple goals

The black love for each other was a brief action taking by black men back then, now black are educated and physical fit for each other. The black couples are strong and powerful like Jay Z and Beyonce
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Pictures of powerful celebrity couples

Do want to be the strong person in your relationship? Check out

Jazzy and Beyonce
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Is DJ cuppy in a relationship with broda shaggi

Billionaire Femi Otedola’s daughter, Florence Otedola popularly known as DJ Cuppy, and social media comedian, Broda Shaggi, are always seen in each other’s company these days. The gist in town is that they could just be more than friends. At the unveiling of Cuppy’s Gelato clothing line in Lekki, Lagos, recently, Broda Shaggi literally accompanied her to the venue.

Also, her dad recently jokingly described him as Cuppy’s new boyfriend. This happened when she called him to wish him a happy birthday and the billionaire spotted Shaggi with her. At the moment, the identity of the man who has Cuppy’s heart is not clear. Unlike her younger sister, Temi Otedola, who has made it obvious to all that she is in love with singer Mr Eazi, Cuppy has made her love interest a puzzle for everyone to crack.

However, DJ Cuppy made it known that she was single during her 27th birthday recently and of course, Broda Shaggi was nowhere in sight during her birthday celebration. For all we care, it could be a decoy

She once dated Nigerian footballer Victor Anichebe. At a time too, she seemed to be in a relationship with Davido’s manager, Asa Asika.

Femi Otedola who is the father of DJ Cuppy also reacted to – comedy skit where Broda Shaggi kissed his daughter. Femi tagged Broda Shaggi as his son-in-law, which further fueled the rumors that they were dating.

However, according to a new controversial comment by a Nigerian on Instagram, Broda Shaggi cannot date Dj Cuppy because he has a girl he has been dating from his undergraduate days in the University.

The fans made this known when Shaggi stormed the comment section to declare his love for Dj Cuppy. He posted a heart emoji to compliment a recent picture that Cuppy posted online.

The most shocking part of the event was that Cuppy who has since be claiming to be single, snubbed BrodaShaggi’s comment. We think she has her eyes on a bigger fish and that is Anthony Joshua

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Best World couples pictures, 2021

It hots to love someone and never have the kind of love in return

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How to have the best relationship

What’s Your Love Style?

When you say “I love you,” what do you mean? 

Terry Hatkoff, a California State University sociologist, has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships. 

  • Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction 
  • Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection 
  • Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.  
  • Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
  • Possessive: Jealousy and obsession 
  • Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice

Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.

What does this have to do with love? The man and woman each define love differently. For him, love is practical, and is best shown by supportive gestures like car maintenance. For her, love is possessive, and a jealous response by her husband makes her feel valued. 

Reignite Romance

Romantic love has been called a “natural addiction” because it activates the brain’s reward center — notably the dopamine pathways associated with drug addiction, alcohol and gambling. But those same pathways are also associated with novelty, energy, focus, learning, motivation, ecstasy and craving. No wonder we feel so energized and motivated when we fall in love!

But we all know that romantic, passionate love fades a bit over time, and (we hope) matures into a more contented form of committed love. Even so, many couples long to rekindle the sparks of early courtship. But is it possible?

The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love. Whether you take a pottery class or go on a white-water rafting trip, activating your dopamine systems while you are together can help bring back the excitement you felt on your first date. In studies of couples, Dr. Aron has found that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness than those who simply share pleasant but familiar experiences.

Diagnose Your Passion Level

The psychology professor Elaine Hatfield has suggested that the love we feel early in a relationship is different than what we feel later. Early on, love is “passionate,” meaning we have feelings of intense longing for our mate. Longer-term relationships develop “companionate love,” which can be described as a deep affection, and strong feelings of commitment and intimacy. 

Where does your relationship land on the spectrum of love? The Passionate Love Scale, developed by Dr. Hatfield, of the University of Hawaii, and Susan Sprecher, a psychology and sociology professor at Illinois State University, can help you gauge the passion level of your relationship. Once you see where you stand, you can start working on injecting more passion into your partnership. Note that while the scale is widely used by relationship researchers who study love, the quiz is by no means the final word on the health of your relationship. Take it for fun and let the questions inspire you to talk to your partner about passion. After all, you never know where the conversation might lead

Sex

For most couples, the more sex they have, the happier the relationship.

How Much Sex Are You Having?

Let’s start with the good news. Committed couples really do have more sex than everyone else. Don’t believe it? While it’s true that single people can regale you with stories of crazy sexual episodes, remember that single people also go through long dry spells. A March 2017 report found that 15 percent of men and 27 percent of women reported they hadn’t had sex in the past year. And 9 percent of men and 18 percent of women say they haven’t had sex in five years. The main factors associated with a sexless life are older age and not being married. So whether you’re having committed or married sex once a week, once a month or just six times a year, the fact is that there’s still someone out there having less sex than you. And if you’re one of those people NOT having sex, this will cheer you upAmericans who are not having sex are just as happy as their sexually-active counterparts.

No too much writing of love because love is life
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