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A lady explained how her boyfriend slept with her mother while she in labour
The mother of one identified as Alyssa-Mae disclosed that she was left devastated upon learning of the sex affair between her 25-year-old boyfriend of seven years and her 40-year-old mother.
She shared her story via TikTok, saying; ‘‘The start of my relationship with my ex was amazing. He was romantic and we couldn’t stand to be apart.
“But then it turned toxic. He cheated several times, but I was a mug and kept forgiving him and believing he would change.
“He used to cry and beg me to stay. I felt sorry for him.
“Back in February 2018, I was rushed to the hospital with bad contractions. I rang him and he didn’t answer the first few times, until eventually I got through
“He told me something had come and therefore he wasn’t going to make it. He came later on that night to visit my and the baby in the hospital and acted fine.
“I didn’t notice anything weird about at this point. We went back home and lived a normal life for a while.
“I didn’t find out until two years later. My neighbours showed me camera footage of my mum constantly entering and leaving my property when I wasn’t home, which made me suspicious.
“I then found messages between my mother and ex-boyfriend, with nude photos and details and dates of the incidents, including when I was giving birth. I confronted him and he confessed.
“I felt heartbroken, betrayed and like a failure. I blamed myself for months.
“As soon as I found out, I packed up his stuff and threw it over the balcony and told him to leave.
“I felt heartbroken, betrayed and like a failure. I blamed myself for months.
“I’ve never looked back and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. My
“A lot of people were in shock and disgusted in my mother and ex-boyfriend. Some saw it as a joke but the ones who knew the truth took it to heart.”
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All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or have struggled before to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness
staying in love
For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It’s staying in love—or preserving that “falling in love” experience—that requires commitment and work. Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort. A healthy, secure romantic relationship can serve as an ongoing source of support and happiness in your life, through good times and bad, strengthening all aspects of your wellbeing. By taking steps now to preserve or rekindle your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime.
Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort.
The following tips can help you to preserve that falling in love experience and keep your romantic relationship healthy
Tip 1: Face to face
You fall in love looking at and listening to each other. If you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, you can sustain the falling in love experience over the long term. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything seemed new and exciting, and you likely spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, the demands of work, family, other obligations, and the need we all have for time to ourselves can make it harder to find time together.
Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn’t positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication. Sending a text or a voice message to your partner saying “I love you” is great, but if you rarely look at them or have the time to sit down together, they’ll still feel you don’t understand or appreciate them. And you’ll become more distanced or disconnected as a couple
connected through communication
Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner, you feel safe and happy. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out the disconnect. It may sound simplistic, but as long as you are communicating, you can usually work through whatever problems you’re facing.
Tell your partner what you need, don’t make them guess.
It’s not always easy to talk about what you need. For one, many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about what’s really important to us in a relationship. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. But look at it from your partner’s point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden.
Tip 2: touch physical intimacy alive
Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. And the benefits don’t end in childhood. Affectionate contact boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment.
While sex is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn’t be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.
Of course, it’s important to be sensitive to what your partner likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat—exactly what you don’t want. As with so many other aspects of a healthy relationship, this can come down to how well you communicate your needs and intentions with your partner.
Even if you have pressing workloads or young children to worry about, you can help to keep physical intimacy alive by carving out some regular couple time, whether that’s in the form of a date night or simply an hour at the end of the day when you can sit and talk or hold hands.
Tip 3: Be ready for ups and downs
It’s important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won’t always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them, such as the death of a close family member. Other events, likejob loss or severe health problems, can affect both partners and make it difficult to relate to each other. You might have different ideas of managing finances or raising children.
Different people cope with stress differently, and misunderstandings can rapidly turn to frustration and anger.
Don’t take out your problems on your partner. Life stresses can make us short tempered. If you are coping with a lot of stress, it might seem easier to vent with your partner, and even feel safer to snap at them. Fighting like this might initially feel like a release, but it slowly poisons your relationship. Find other healthier ways to manage your stress, anger, and frustration.
Trying to force a solution can cause even more problems. Every person works through problems and issues in their own way. Remember that you’re a team. Continuing to move forward together can get you through the rough spots.
Look back to the early stages of your relationship. Share the moments that brought the two of you together, examine the point at which you began to drift apart, and resolve how you can work together to rekindle that falling in love experience.
Be open to change. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship, and it allows you to grow together through both the good times and the bad.
If you need outside help for your relationship, reach out together. Sometimes problems in a relationship can seem too complex or overwhelming for you to handle as a couple.
“Keep in mind that sometimes the rules that are most crucial for you to follow through on might be the ones that are the least fun to keep…”
Now, if you’re struggling to figure out your own dating rules, I might be able to help you out. I coach a lot of women (and men!) on how to cultivate a healthy dating life, because unfortunately, you can’t depend on Cupid to make all the magic happen (if only it were that simple…). These are my top 11 dating rules to consider in this wild world of modern romance. Choose the rules that work for you, ditch the ones that don’t, and of course, experiment as needed to find your own. There’s no right or wrong here.
1. Date multiple people at once.
Yes, you heard me! Before you enter an agreed-upon monogamous relationship, do yourself a favor and play the field. Because here’s what’s most likely to happen if you don’t: You meet someone you really like, you go out with them again, things escalate, and then—bam—they either pull away, ghost, or tell you they’re not looking for something serious. Now you’re crushed because you’re emotionally invested in them—but they haven’t invested at all in you. When you’re even the slightest attached to a person, the disappointment stings. Spare yourself the hurt by putting a metaphorical egg in several baskets.
We loves to be alone
2. Keep dates short.
I like to tell my clients not to let dates go on for more than 90 minutes. Why? That’s enough time to get to know the person on a surface level and (hopefully) feel a spark, but not long enough that your brain starts getting carried away with the excitement of the potential. Dinner dates that spontaneously turn into a five-hour bar crawl or movie night can be incredibly fun, but they can also leave you in a state of confusion and despair if nothing develops from the marathon outing afterward.
3.Avoid talking about exes on early dates.
An oldie but a goodie dating rule, for a reason: Talking about past relationships and breakups gets heavy fast, and the first few dates should be light and easy. Sure, finding out how someone’s last few major relationships ended—and opening up about how yours did, too—is a great way to learn about the person and connect on a deeper level. But there’s plenty of time for that later, so hold off for the first handful of dates.
If they bring up the ex convo, divert it with something like: “I’d be happy to tell you about that stuff when we get to know each other a little better, but for now I’m really enjoying hearing about XYZ.”
4. Don’t feel obligated to send a thank-you text.
Oh man, the thank-you text. Is there any text more debated and controversial than the one that directly follows the first date? I know some people think the woman absolutely should send one shortly after the end of the first date to let the other person know that she’s interested, and then others think it should always fall on the guy (assuming you’re pursuing a male prospect).
“As long as you thanked your date warmly and sincerely in person before parting ways, I believe there’s no reason to send a follow-up text.”
I’m sort of old-school when it comes to pursuit dynamics, which evolutionarily speaking, tend to be led by the male. As long as you thanked your date warmly and sincerely in person before parting ways (which, btw, you absolutely should do whether you’re into seeing them again or not), I believe there’s no reason to send a follow-up text. Doing so can put them in a position where they feel obligated to respond in a certain way and removes any healthy tension on their part of wondering, Oh, she said she had a good time; I think she likes me, but I’ll have to feel her out in a few days. That’s a great place to leave them.
That said, if you worry that you were a little standoffish or far from flirty on the date (I get it…nerves!), you can reassure them that you enjoyed yourself via text. Don’t overthink this. It’s not a job interview—if you know you showed your enthusiasm in person, the ball is in their court. Let them throw it.
5. Wait at least a few dates to have sex.
I’m not anti- first-date sex, but I’m also not necessarily for it. As a therapist, I know that it’s it’s very, very important to truly know not only someone’s intentions but also whether their actions align with them, and that’s hard to figure out upon first meeting them.One-thousand percent, to each their own, especially on this topic—but in my professional opinion, a dating rule that can really come in handy for sparing your precious heart is avoiding sexual intimacy until you know you’re both looking for the same thing. If that’s just a sexual connection, great! But if it’s something more, like an actual relationship, you want to make sure that that’s their goal, too. Because having sex only makes you feel even more attached to a person…and can sometimes make you feel down on yourself if they don’t end up committing to you. No one needs to feel that.
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